INDIRECT COERCIVE POWERS OF THE GOVERNMENT FUNCTIONARIES

Thursday Feb 12, 2009
Columnist
Mid Week
Big Brother is watching you!
By Adam Lusekelo

WHAT's the fuss?Big brothers (governments) all over the world like tokeep their eyes and eavesdrop on their citizens. Especially people like Dr Willibroad Slaa. The mheshimiwahas this bad habit of saying the truth, unpalatable truth, in the Bunge. His utterances have resulted into former demi-gods being thrown into the lam and others being portrayed as common crooks -- which are quite embarrassing. I remember that as little kids, whenever we had a fight and the other guy was tougher than you, you engaged dirty tactics. You kneed the punk, you know, down there. Or grabbed his balls and squeezed. That, of course, always brought a painful yell. We're told the gadgets which were hidden under Dr Slaa's (Chadema) and Dr Ali Taarab Ali's (CUF) beds at Hotel 56 were state-of-the-art bugs. They're said to be 'law enforcement/military' stuff, some of the best espionage paraphernalia in the market. The Russian made equipment from the EDIC mini-tiny series is popular with professionals because of their small size, audio quality and reach. Experts say with that gadget, you can hear a mosquito fart! "The actual device weighs around four grams and can record conversation for up to 37 hours," a local spook who requested anonymity told Midweek. Medical experts say a human being cannot stay for 37 hours without breaking wind. They say at one point the body will have to release gas and that would have been recorded very clearly by this state-of-art gadget. Presumably, whoever the spooks were, they would have released the CDs to all the radio stations in the country. I've already said that when you are getting thumped it is tempting to fight dirty. I've been wondering: Why underneath a bed? Dr Slaa and Dr Tarab have offices at the Bunge. Their cars also could be bugged. Their homes in their constituencies could also be bugged. Why under their beds in Dodoma? Were the spooks looking for noises of something more sinister? Could it be that the spooks wanted to tape the goings-on after lights are off and, maybe Dr Slaa or Dr Tarab entertaining their women friends. Such kind of grunts and moans of delight could make very good FM radio stuff. I can picture Dr Slaa or Dr Tarab getting copies of the CDs and an anonymous call to the effect that any more fancy talk about fighting corruption and the CDs would be released to the public. Scene at Bunge after Dr Slaa receiving the CD: The Speaker, Sam Six starts with his mournful voice: "Dr Wllibrod Slaa, you had Private Motion on ID cards. Please rap on" "Honourable Speaker," Dr Slaa says, coughing loudly, before he continues: "I would like to thank the CCM government, for looking after us -- I sleep much better these days, especially after discovering that the government is guaranteeing us security for 24 hours even when we go to the loo. Long live the government, I Say!" Then he sits down, leaving the entire Bunge openmouthed.