I have made a permanent life decision to only show my face and hands while in public, and I love it!
I
am an American non-Muslim woman who has chosen to wear the hijab. Yes,
you did read that correctly! I am not conducting an experiment on what
the hijab is like or trying to explore the lives of Muslims. I have made
a permanent life decision to only show my face and hands while in
public, and I love it!
When
I was younger, I found the hijab to be beautiful, but unfortunately I
thought that a lot of the myths about the hijab were true, and so I was
daunted by it. When I started college, I studied Arabic and made
friendships with Muslim students in my classes. A few of the girls wore a
hijab, and even though I liked the look of it and respected their right
to wear it, I thought that it was oppressive.
Unfortunately,
around the same time, I began to notice that some of the men at my
university would openly speak about their female classmates as though
they were moving pieces of meat. I would often have to hear stories that
I rather wouldn’t about what these boys would like to do to this girl
or that one, and I began to notice their looks. Before entering
university, I would catch men looking at me in an inappropriate way from
time to time, and I would just ignore it, but after hearing these
conversations and feeling their many looks, I couldn’t just ignore it
anymore.
Is It Really My Problem?
I
mentioned how I felt to some of my classmates, and often, I got
responses like “boys will be boys,” or “it’s just their biology, they
can’t help their behavior.” At the time, I bought these responses, and I
thought that my discomfort was just my problem. I thought these people
had a right to behave the way they were, and I had no right to try and
stop them. When I got engaged, all of this has changed.
I have made a permanent life decision to only show my face and hands while in public, and I love it!
|
My
fiancé is my soul mate. We met in junior high and were friends for
years before we began dating. He had asked me out a few times before
then, and even though I turned him down, he always behaved around me in a
respectful way. It was because of how he always treated me that I
eventually agreed to go out with him. The day he proposed to me is, so
far, the happiest day of my life. Once I made the decision to make a
lifelong commitment to him and only him, it seemed obvious that no one
had the right to treat me like their sex object. Whenever I would notice
someone looking at me inappropriately, I no longer felt uncomfortable, I
felt outraged! But I still had no idea what I could do about it.
Finally,
one day I saw one of my hijabi friends at school and ran over to say hi
to her. She started to walk towards me, and for some reason, I was just
struck by her. She was wearing a scarf and an abayaa(long Islamic
Dress) like she normally did, but at that moment she looked regal and
powerful.
In
my mind I thought, “Wow, I want to look just like that.” I started
researching the hijab, and I learned more about why Muslims wear hijab,
what makes a hijab a hijab, and how to wrap scarves. I watched youtube
videos, browsed online hijab shops (including Haute Hijab) and the more I
saw, the more I was impressed by how these hijabi women exuded class
and elegance. I wanted so much to be like these women, and couldn’t get
the hijab out of my mind. I even started dreaming about it!
There
were many things I liked about the hijab. I liked the thought of having
so much control over my body and how the outside world saw it, but what
I also liked, was how well it fit with my feminist beliefs. As a
feminist, I believe that women and men should be equals in society, and
that the norm of treating women like sex objects is a form of unequal
and unfair treatment.
Women
in American society are looked down upon if they don’t dress in order
to be attractive for others, but I believe that women shouldn’t have to
conform to some ridiculous and unattainable standard of beauty. The
hijab is a way to be free of that.
However,
the way the hijab best complemented my feminist beliefs was how it was
about so much more than women’s clothing. As I understood it, the hijab
is about how men and women should interact while in public. Men also
dress in a non-revealing way, and both men and women are supposed to
treat each other with respect. I was happy to learn that both men and
women were expected to be responsible for their own actions, and
impressed at how egalitarian the ideals of the hijab are.
Hijab Is My Decision
At this point, I was certain that I wanted to wear a hijab, but I had a problem. I was afraid that wearing a hijab
as a non-Muslim would be offensive, and I was too afraid to ask my
friends. I found one youtube video on the subject, and though it said
that it wouldn’t be offensive, I still wasn’t sure. But eventually,
after weeks of thinking about it, I finally asked one of my friends. She
told me that she wouldn’t be offended, and then pointed out that
Muslims aren’t the only ones who wear headscarves, many Jews and
Christians do as well.
I
started wearing it off and on for a few weeks after that, and once I
felt comfortable I always wore it when I left home. Soon, after I left
for an internship in Jordan, I was afraid that the Jordanians would not
like that I was wearing hijab, but quickly after I got off the plane, I
found otherwise! When I told people that I was an American non-Muslim,
they were excited to see that I wore a hijab.
People
often told me that they thought it was a very good thing that I was
wearing it, and some people were touched that I would show such respect
to their culture. Best of all, I will never forget the sight of a fully
grown man jumping with excitement because I was wearing a jilbab(long
dress covering almost all the body)!
These
memories will always bring warmth to my heart, and they give me
strength back in the states when I have to deal with angry glares or
awkward questions about my hijab.
Sometimes
I will still catch men looking at me in a disrespectful way, but I take
joy in knowing that though they may try, they still cannot see what
they want to. Because of the hijab, I understand that my body is my
right, and I will be forever grateful to the Muslim women who taught me
that
· This article is originally published at Haute Hijab and it is republished here after their kind permission.
· http://www.onislam.net/english/family/your-society/gender-and-society/464685-an-american-non-muslim-hijabi-shares-her-story.html
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